I have a meeting with one of the Charlie Hebdo team members who does not need lifelong police protection. Today, those who likely have it for life are Riss, the publication director, Gérard Biard, editor-in-chief, and Zineb el Rhazoui, a former journalist at Charlie. Others have it sporadically. But not Simon Fieschi. Dressed in a military green T-shirt and blue canvas pants, with a brown fringe brushed to the side and a babyface, he looks like someone just starting out in life. Simon Fieschi is the former webmaster and community manager of the satirical newspaper *Charlie Hebdo*, now receiving a state pension to compensate for his “workplace accident” — the Kalashnikov attack by the Kouachi brothers at his workplace that left him 80% disabled. With a degree in humanities, he admits he did “all sorts of strange things before joining Charlie.” Nonetheless, he seems like the perfect friend, especially now, as we approach the tenth anniversary of the attack. He seems to have reached, if not inner peace, at least a certain wisdom about what happened to him. His calm is soothing; he is unafraid of silences, a rare quality in today’s constantly chattering world. A few soft smiles occasionally cross his beardless face, and his speech is measured. He searches for the right word for every thought, looking upward to ensure he says things in the most accurate way. The garden of their apartment is filled with tall trees stretching toward the blue Paris sky, including an olive tree that Maisie, his Australian wife, marvels at for managing to grow there. The old quarries of Ménilmontant, she tells me, made the soil particularly fertile, and “some rather strange plants” grow on the lawn. It’s both beautiful and slightly unsettling. This green oasis allowed Simon Fieschi to go outside without actually going outside, into the Parisian streets, during the darkest days after the attack. It took him a week in a coma and nine months in the hospital before he could return home, to undergo rehabilitation, to relearn how to walk and function.
We’ve all had moments in life that create a distinct “before” and “after,” but few have experienced this so dramatically.
How is Simon doing today? Quite well, better, after a major burnout 18 months ago. He couldn’t handle being in a world of satirical critiques and blasphemy, with the constant risk of being attacked. He now longs for more peace and feels at ease enjoying his pension “without too much guilt.” Though he admits he wondered what to do with his life to avoid being a “parasite” to society. He looks upward again, as if searching his thoughts. At 40, the former *Charlie Hebdo* webmaster and community manager has nothing to envy in others. He’s a father and has been in a long-term relationship, married to a young Australian woman who studied literature in Sydney. Her mother, Ursula Dubosarsky, is one of the country’s most renowned children’s authors. “We met through a group of friends; he was the only Frenchman,” Maisie tells me. They were married at the town hall of the 11th arrondissement in Paris by Anne Hidalgo, surrounded by their families, *Charlie Hebdo* colleagues… and their bodyguards. Since then, they’ve shared their lives with its ups and downs, for better or worse. Maisie works at the American Library, and she has to leave us, and our coffee cups have long been empty. “I don’t mind drinking cold coffee,” Simon admits. “Neither do I,” I replied.
And what about the deeper issue, you ask? A philosophy of life and thought seems to have taken root in Simon Fieschi’s mind and heart. “To some, those who perpetrated terrorist attacks are seen as heroes.” I agree with him and would even add that many were heroes before becoming villains. But the *Charlie Hebdo* attacks and those of November 13 are very different. “The first was a ‘political assassination,’” to use the words of Riss, the paper’s director, “while the second was a case of ‘wrong place, wrong time,’ with the randomness of it making these events even more horrific, even more unjust for those who were victims, directly or indirectly, unlucky to be there.” Even though, of course, this doesn’t mean that the mass murder targeting Simon’s colleagues and himself was “fairer.” In any case, 2015 was one of those horribilis years, followed by another challenging one, with Brexit and the UK leaving the EU, not to mention the surreal yet highly anticipated election of Donald Trump. So, was it better before? Not better or worse, just different, with a before and after.
The soft hum of our conversation pauses for a moment, and I ask Simon Fieschi if I can take a photo of him. A black cat passes by, its name is Dupond. There’s another one hiding somewhere, also named Dupont. Dupond and Dupont — Simon smiles as he says it, pleased with his own joke and the lightness he’s deservedly rediscovered. For a moment, at least. A moment etched in the records of time as a respite within the chaos of the world we must continue living in, somehow, for our children. And probably for everything else, too. At least, that’s what Simon’s eyes told me as I left.
By Olivier Vojetta
https://www.oliviervojetta.com/
**NB – Simon Fieschi will appear live from Paris at the Philo Bistro of the Alliance Française Sydney on Wednesday, October 9, 2024, from 6:30-8:00 PM local time. Information and registration at this link: https://www.afsydney.com.au/whats-on/philo-bistro/
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